“Start Before You Are Ready…and so it begins…a new chapter…
You know what?
SCREW IT!! (I really wanted to say F- IT, but thought that might be a bit over the top to drop the F Bomb in the first 4 words of my very first blog post ever and didn’t want to scare any of you lovely ladies away!!)
Listen, I’m not sugar coating this “momsanity” anymore, and I give up on trying to play that perfect mom role anymore. Honestly, it’s been exhausting!
I’m ready to bring it, ladies (still not sure what “it” is exactly, but I’m ready to have a blast with all of you along the way!)
Which brings me to the BIG question I recently asked myself…
“How the hell did I get here??”
Like, holy shiznit… I’m all of a sudden 45 years old, with three kids (always thought it would be four, but after three…hell no!), a great husband, a dog (which we successfully avoided for years until our kids wore us down), a two story house in a nice neighborhood, and an SUV for all the damn kids who are constantly messing it up.
You know the drill… basically living your typical middle class, suburban life that you always dreamed of only to one day wake up and ask yourself, “Is this it”?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed and have a wonderful life, yet I’ve recently come to realize that I’ve lost a big part of who I really am along this motherhood journey, and I’ve decided to “get my Magan groove back.” (Just like Stella did, but sadly no Taye Diggs)
And as quickly as these thoughts came, it was followed by my old familiar friend FEAR.
LUCKILY, I also have this new voice that seems to be getting much, much louder with age that says… F*CK IT, let’s do this, girl!
So I recently told myself to take note of some amazing advice that I’m pretty sure I read on Pinterest or a Hallmark card…
“Start before you’re ready”… this mantra has been rather loud in my mind lately kind of like my middle daughter yelling “MOM” 634 times a day (and for those of you who personally know my middle child, this is NOT an exaggeration!).
I certainly don’t feel “ready”, and to be completely honest, I don’t know if I will ever feel “ready” which is kind of how I have felt my entire life, yet I know it’s time.
“Starting What?”… you might be asking.
Well, I’m still defining that part, but so far it means starting to conceive of a life that doesn’t solely consist of late afternoon PTO meetings, Room Mom responsibilities that very few appreciate, boring Team Mom To Do’s, unorganized carpools, and life with three kids that seems like trying to spin eight plates at once while seeing if I can add one more…JUST FOR SH*TS AND GIGGLES.
You see, for the last 16 plus years like many ladies my age, I’ve been a full-time mom…and when I say “full-time”, I truly mean “FULL-TIME”.
My whole world has been 100% about my kids, family and community, and I’ve never felt like I had the extra time to really think about what I like, what I enjoy, and who I really am besides being momma.
In fact, a few years ago I was visiting family by myself and when we went to the grocery to pick up a few food items, I didn’t even know what kind of food I liked!
How freaking pathetic is that?? Wait…Don’t answer that! Cause it’s super pathetic!
Honestly, I had become a suburban-mom-robot taking care of everyone else and meeting their needs. So much so that I had completely lost touch with myself.
BIG TIME FAIL!
So as my oldest daughter just received her driver’s license (woohoo, FREE Uber!), I’m getting a glimpse of life without the constant mom responsibilities…which begs the question…
“What in the world is next for me?”
Spoiler alert, I’ve known what I’m passionate about for a long time, but I was in denial…actually as long as I can remember I never really gave myself permission to even acknowledge it or nurture it.
There were just too many other things to take care of. It always seemed like the timing wasn’t right so I kept myself busy avoiding what I loved most.
But as I embark on this new life phase of (almost) grown kids, I know that now is the time to begin, now is the time to plan, now is the time to take the next step, and now is the time to go topless (ok, maybe not that part).
I think we all have that knowing inside of us that we have a bigger game to play and an even better life is possible (even if it’s already good which most of our lives are when we really think about what really matters).
Sometimes, it’s just a simple matter of it being the right time, having the courage to step into what our heart is telling us…and of course saying F*CK IT (told myself I had to say this three times in this post so this was just me achieving that goal, lol…#goalgetter).
So here it is, what I have finally embraced and what I want to share with you…
As long as I can remember, I’ve LOVED organizing…my mom often retells the embarrassing story of “Little Magan” reorganizing the candy bars in the checkout aisle as a preschooler.
As bizarre as it sounds, I can recall fond memories of cleaning and organizing my younger sister’s bedroom as if it were a treat (nerd alert!), and throughout my entire teaching career, there is one day that stands out as the absolute best…
when I was placed in a classroom of a retiring teacher, and I got to clean out 20+ years of accumulated junk that she no longer wanted or needed (this may make me sound kind of like a lame-o, but I’m seriously a blast in real life, no seriously, I am).
I guess this should have been a good clue that teaching wasn’t going to be my forever job!
In all honesty, I have no idea where this blog is going to take me, and I’m scared.
Here’s what I do know, I’m ready to overcome my fears and find out. My passion is and always has been calming chaos and clutter while transforming something that feels messy and overwhelming into something simple, orderly and organized.
So, the next step for me is to share what I know and what I love and to help us all live a more balanced, serene life through this blog, “Organize Zen with Magan”.
I want to help myself and other women feel much better about their inner world and their outer surroundings because they all tie together.
Oh and I want us all to have TONS MORE FUN of course!
Something’s wrong if you aren’t having tons of fun, (mostly) legal of course.
So get your glass of wine out (if you haven’t already) and join me as a new adventure unfolds…
So here’s a toast to new beginnings and “cheers” to starting before you’re ready!! ♥
We’ve got this, ladies!